Mrs. Gloria Rodriguez Sanchez Popcorn Smith, who initially discovered the teeny guillotine, made the initial report to police. Smith inadvertently lost three fingers when she discovered the teeny head cutting device late Monday night while searching about in the dark basement of the abandoned Knotville shopping mall. Smith said she was down there "doing some moonlight treasure hunting".
"Eets a hobby, okay?" Smith said. "I taut I saw a beeg diamond stuck on the side of the wall", Smith told reporters Tuesday night in her downtown Knotville apartment. "So I got all excited and reached for it. But eet wadn't no diamond! It bit me!! Look! Eet took half my three best fingers off! Boy am I peesed! I'm giving up treasure hunting man, eet's a stupid hobby. I don't know how I let Rolando talk me into this! You loser Rolando! Looka my hand! See that? Eet's your fault you loser! Treasure hunting! Sheet! You and your stupid ideas!"
Rolando Rodriguez Sanchez Popcorn Smith was unavailable for comment. No charges have been filed in this incident, teeny or otherwise.